The Unbelievable Top Secret Diary of Pig by Emer Stamp

Title: The Unbelievable Top Secret Diary of Pig
Author: Emer Stamp
Publisher: Scholastic Press
Reviewer: Bennimus
Age: 15
Recommended Age: 7-12
Rating: 3.9

WARNING: Crude humor protocol level 2:
Fart/Poop jokes.
Adults will be offended




Stretching the physical boundaries of time and space, The Unbelievable Top Secret Diary of Pig brings out the child's innocent desire to save animals as Pig goes there and back again to not get eaten by the Farmer (or catapulted into oblivion by the chickens). A very funny and entertaining book if you have a somewhat irreverent mind, because beware, the book is filled to the brim with poo and farts to keep your little devils laughing it up.

This book explores the blissful ignorance of the animals and the misunderstandings they might have, which, of course, has to be hilarious. This book is a must-have for every little kid who loves animals and particularly enjoys their lack of proper human intelligence.

Rock 'N' Roll Soldier by Dean Ellis Kohler and Susan VanHecke

Title: Rock 'N' Roll Soldier
Author: Dean Ellis Kohler and Susan VanHecke
Publisher: HarperTeen
Reviewer: Benny
Rating: 4.5 Cheeseburgers

Prepare to have your mind blown. Rock n’ Roll Soldier is a unique, true, memoir about Dean Kohler’s service in the Vietnam War during which he starts a rock band, gets some chicks, and even records a single. This is a book that made me look at music in a different life-changing way. I no longer see it as a way to entertain people, but as a way to lift their spirits and let them sink into it. All that Kohler had to do while fighting the Viet Cong forces in Qui Nhon. The effort described in the book was surprising and entertaining to me and I congratulate Kohler for his great efforts and loyalty.

Anyone who loves music and warfare will love this book, though it has some mild language and some weird moments that the little kiddies wouldn’t understand. Also, the plot will have some gaps unless you know about the Vietnam War. At first, I wondered why Kohler had a Vietnamese girlfriend when they were attacking Vietnam, but then I looked it up and found out they were supporting southern Vietnam whilst fighting northern Vietnam.

I like the fact that something that actually happened turned out to look so much like a fictional story. However, I think the Author’s Note would be much better labeled “Prologue” because it seemed more like a prologue than an author’s note, because I didn’t know what was happening because I skipped the Author’s Note. But it was a very good book which was very well put together, and not only taught me the power of music but also how humanity can work together to build skyscrapers, form an organized society, and even play rock bands in warzones. This book restored my faith in humanity, as well as taught me the true meaning of music.

For more info, visit the book's web site: Rock 'N' Roll Soldier

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Author: Ernest Cline
Publisher: Random House
Publication date: August 16, 2011
Reviewer: Benny (12)
Rating: 5 Cheeseburgers


In a very popular virtual reality online multiplayer game, something that could change the world happens, and it all comes to life in this great novel. This book uses video game language, so it's easy for gamers to understand.
  The creator of the game passed away, and left behind the greatest video game competition of all time, so great that some people would kill to win it. It's up to five game adicts to rescue the game from going into the wrong hands. This thrilling novel has kept me longingly reading for a long time. Anyone who's addicted to video games will love this book.
  This book has mild language, but it isn't very strong. The book is also relatively hard to comprehend by people who aren't gamers due to its occasional video game language. It also has some very tragic points in it. Some points that made me feel as if the end of the book was really close.
  The characters in this book are really well thought through, and the position the main character finds himself in. Him having a crush on a girl who he's never known except for how hot her avatar looked. The
book also makes a good impression on what it might be in the future. How terrible it is with everyone starving, homeless, and having to escape it all by playing a video game.

Infinity Ring: A Mutiny in Time

Author: James Dashner
Publisher: Scholastic
Publication date: August 28, 2012
Reviewer: Benny (12)
Rating: 4 Cheeseburgers

This is the soon-to-be first book of a series called "Infinity Ring". It's about a couple of kids named Dak and Sera that discover that Dak's parents have been working on a top-secret experiment: A handheld time-space wormhole device known as the Infinity Ring (or you could just call it a pocket time machine, whatever works). Dak and Sera can't keep it a secret, and it appears to be key for a group called the Historians to fix history which has apparently been broken. Now it's up to Dak and Sera to fix history with a teenager called Riq, so a rival group called the SQ doesn't gain power in the future (or present?).

Much like the 39 clues, this is a collaborative series done by several authors, with an online game that goes along with the book. I think that the book has some sudden introductions. You kinda have to figure everything out mid-book. I didn't even know what the SQ was until, like, Chapter 15. Aside from that, it was an interesting book that I bet is the beginning of a great series. Time travel kinda confuses me, though. If Dak and Sera fix the future, then there won't be a broken past to begin with, therefore they won't come back to the past to fix it because there's nothing wrong with it, but then it would have to remain broken, and the cycle goes on and on. Still, the plot is interesting. I've read 10 of the 39 clues books and they've each had their own "flavor" so I bet these books will be like that too.

Hoot by Carl Hiassen

Title: Hoot
Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publisher: Random House (Knopf)
Publication Date: March 16, 2002
Reviewer: Benny (12)
Rating: 4 Cheeseburgers

I think this book has a nice plot, though kinda predictable, to center a book on. The most predictable part is when Roy meets "Mullet Fingers", a boy that seems to be crazy about nature, and we already know about Mother Paula's all-american pancake house being built on top of the owls, and of course, their little problems (alligators in the porta-potties, vandalized bulldozers and stuff, lost stakes, cottonmouth moccasins, and of course, spray painting cop cars. I also like the Idea of the main character, and the main character of the sub-plot, Roy Eberhardt, and Officer David Delinko. I also like the idea for a bully, Dana Matherson, Roy's "sidekick" Beatrice Leep, and of course, her stepbrother, -------- ------- Leep (name blanked out intentionally). Anyone with a green thumb, likes politics an' stuff, and dare I say it has a grudge for pancakes, will love this book, which, believe it or not, is actually out there, and selling, so read one for yourself!

Note: Carl Hiaasen has a new book coming out! It's called CHOMP and it will be published on March 27. 

Merits of Mischief: The Bad Apple by T. R. Burns

Title: Merits of Mischief: The Bad Apple
Author: T. R. Burns
Publisher: Aladdin / Simon & Schuster
Publication Date: April 24, 2012
Reviewer: Benny (12)
Rating: 4 Cheeseburgers

This is another good book, but the thing about it is, the kind of thing where almost none of this book makes sense until you read it over a couple of times, and think more and more about what the heck every little sentence means.

Everything else about the book is good. The unexpected plot, the good characters, and I really like the main character, Seamus Hinkle’s situation at school, what he does about it (accidentally killing his substitute teacher by throwing an apple at her) and what his punishment is for doing so (going to a reform school that happens to be a top-secret high tech facility training kids to be professional troublemakers) and how he handles it (painting the school and many teachers with a paintball gun, torching a carousel, haunting his history teacher’s midnight jog, scaring the crap out of his music teacher during his bathroom break, and not to mention blowing up his gym teacher.)

Anyone who likes mystery, weird schools, or pullin’ pranks on your teacher will love this book, which will come out on April 24. Find it in a book store near you!

The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy

Book: The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom

Publisher: Walden Pond Press / Harper Collins

Publication Date: May 1, 2012

Reviewer: Benny (12)

Rating: 5 Cheeseburgers

This book is a great book that will come on May 1st. 2012. It’s about the famous Prince Frederic, Prince Gustav, Prince Liam, and Prince Duncan. You wouldn’t recognize them, but they are the princes who saved Cinderella, Rapunzel, Sleepin’ Beauty, and Snow white. Fairy tales like to refer to them as Prince Charming. 

In this book, these guys get upset about how their actual name isn’t included in these classic fairy tales, and they set out on an adventure to save each of their kingdoms. I like how Christopher Healy (author) gives each of the princes and princesses their own personality, and how he shows how they don’t get along well. 

Cinderella was up for adventure, Frederic was up for a picnic. Gustav was a crab apple, Rapunzel was, well, a rapunzel. Liam was a hero for hire, Sleepin’ Beauty was a bossy big ol’ sister. Duncan was a loud guy, Snow white was a peaceful gal quiet as a mouse. I hope I didn’t express too much, but it’s a great book. It has a sense of things pre-teens would like. (For those of you who aren’t interested yet, there’s a Bandit King aged 10 years old... no lie!)

Planet Tad by Tim Carvell

Book: Planet Tad
Publisher: Harper Collins
Publication date: May 18, 2012
Reviewer: Benny (12)
Rating: 5 Cheeseburgers

This book you already may know is called Planet Tad. I liked this book because of the genre. I like the type of diary/blog/journal type thing. I think there are a lot of interesting things about this book, like for example: Occasionally the book will trail off the main story for thoughts about different things like criticizing things like lame mascots, books, vacations, and stuff like that. Sometimes it isn’t criticizing. For instance: Different ideas about things like the pledge to the flag, video games, and other things.

 If you like Diary of a Wimpy Kid, you’ll like this. It’s about a kid (obviously named Tad) who’s making a blog and recording a year of his life on it from Jan. 1st, to Dec. 31st. He faces a lot of problems like GIANT FULL-BODY SUNBURNS, and LITTLE SISTERS RULING HIM LIKE THEY’RE SOME WEIRD SORT OF QUEEN, and BROKEN CAMERAS, and stuff like that. The plot for this book is kinda based on Tad’s new year’s resolutions (Getting girls to notice him, doing a kick-flip on his skateboard, and stuff like that. I think it’s a good book, and when it comes out, you should read it!

 (This book is not available for purchase and probably has future revisions coming up. It’s coming out May 8th.)